Thursday 31 December 2015

Goodbye 2015, hello 2016



So I haven’t updated my blog in over 2 months, with good reason. So much has happened since my last post and up until now I haven’t been ready to recount it all, but as 2015 draws to a close and 2016 is just around the corner, now is the time to accept the past and look forward to the future.


The Chiltern and Thames Championships were my next big event after my last post. My sister Chloe came over from France the same week to groom and support me. Guinness warmed up exceptionally calmly and made me so proud in his first test. His first time in the big indoor arena at Bury Farm and  he was calm, collected and 100% concentrating on me, like I’d never known before. We broke into canter in the medium trot, but I didn’t care, I was so proud of him! I had hired a stable for the day so after we’d all had a rest and some lunch, I brought Guinness out to warm up for his second test, but something wasn’t right. He didn’t want to go forward in trot, and whenever I pushed him on a bit more he just kept breaking in to canter. I had to withdraw from the elementary and I was devastated to say the least. I just couldn’t understand what was wrong?! Had he trodden on a stone? Pulled something? The final class was the one I’d put all my effort into, the dressage to music class, and was planning on fulfilling a lifelong dream of doing a dressage freestyle to the music from Black beauty, on my very own, Black beauty look alike. Unsure of what to expect, I tacked Guinness up, and hoped for the best. Although I took it easy in the warm up, Guinness seemed ok as long as I kept the circles big. So I nursed him around my test without pushing it at all and just kept him long and low and managed to come away with a 7th.
 

After that I just walked Guinness on hacks in straight lines and Chloe rode Hero out with me a few times which was nice. I had a week’s holiday coming up and the day before I left I took Guinness in the school and he felt as lame as before. I gave him the week off and when he was no better after his rest, I contacted the physio and then the vet. It wasn’t good news and I had a very tough decision to make. This is what I wrote to say goodbye.



07.12.15 Goodbye my friend

It is with huge sadness that I have to say goodbye to my friend, partner and teacher of the last 6 years, Guinness. Guinness has suffered with a multitude of problems since I got him at just 4 years old and over the past month, with the change in weather and his increasing age, his arthritis is such that he is no longer comfortable to trot, or walk down any form of slope. I wish a long and happy retirement were possible for my beautiful boy but without the physiotherapy schooling gives to provide his arthritic neck with support, it is mine and my closest vets and physio’s opinion, that retirement would mean, further more frequent neck issues including locking and muscle spasms. I just can’t bear the thought of him being out in the field one day and being in pain and alone or his legs giving way underneath him because of his wobblers.

I will miss his cheeky face over the door, how he tried to bite and kick me when being brushed, how nervous I felt before every competition warm up and how proud I felt after every class. It was only August when I passed over the cross country finish line at Aston le Walls, in the pouring rain and sideways wind, streaming tears of joy because of how proud I was of my boy and how much I love him. I will miss his beautiful face, kind eyes and the little white streak in his tail. I will miss his smell, and the feel of his soft neck on my cheek and velvety muzzle on my face. But most of all I will miss him as my friend.

I’m grateful he will not have to suffer in his final days like Donald did and Frosty did right at the end. I’m grateful that he will never know any different than the life of pampering and luxury he is accustomed to and the constant attention and love he has known. I’m grateful for all the excitement we’ve shared and all we have overcome. I’m grateful for all he has taught me. I’m grateful for hard he has tried to keep going, even when he’s been uncomfortable. I’m grateful for all the fun we’ve had together over the last almost 6 years. I’m grateful for all the bucks I’ve learned to sit and even the few times I’ve ended up on my arse! I’m grateful for all the happiness he has brought to my life. I only wish we could have more time together, but I hope he understands that I’m doing my best to put his quality of life before my own emotional and selfish needs. He truly is one in a million to me, the horse I dreamed of as a child, my horse or a lifetime, my very own, Black Beauty.

Say hi to Donald, Frosty and Peter for me. I love you so much and I will miss you every day.




3 weeks has passed since I said goodbye to my horse of a lifetime, and it hasn’t been easy. Some days are harder than others but I’ve had phenomenal support from my family, my partner, and my friends. So much reminds me of him, and I think that’ll always be the case. The day I received my regional qualification email was one of the hardest, but I’m still confident I made the right decision. 


Since then, many things have changed. My partner has been offered an amazing job in Los Angeles, and all things considered, we’ve decided it’s too good of an opportunity to miss! We’ve been engaged for a long time but this was a great excuse to arrange a last minute wedding so now it’s all hands on deck! We will be married early in the New Year and then if everything goes to plan, we will be moving out to LA around April!!! Peroni, my youngster will go to France to live with the other Adams family clan (Taffy, Frosty and Beanie) whilst I’m away until he’s old enough to be backed! 


Peroni is growing in to such an amazing little horse and all the groundwork and handling I’ve done so far has really paid dividends. I moved him from his current yard back to Kevin’s in Seer Green and he walked the 45 minute walk by my side along a busy road like a grown up pony! He was nervous and curious at times, but he followed my feet as I’d trained him to do and couldn’t have made me prouder! I’m looking forward to having my first proper groundwork lesson with him with Sue Edwards next weekend!


So lots is changing and it’s sad, exciting and scary all at the same time, but life isn’t a dress rehearsal and as I’m waiting for the clock to chime in an new year, I’m feeling exceptionally grateful for all the wonderful things and people I’m so lucky to have in my life, and hoping 2016 will be one of the most exciting adventures of my life so far…..

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